By Frank Shushok Jr.
My university needed to revise its structure to align with the newest federal guidance, particularly related to student-on-student sexual violence. It was a daunting process and no one was vying for the job. Exhausted from the complex and seemingly circular conversation, I volunteered to situate our institution’s efforts in my office. At that point in my career, I had little exposure to Title IX, sexual violence, or federal compliance mandates impacting institutions of higher education. I jumped in, read anything and everything I could find on the subject, attended trainings and began my tenure as our deputy Title IX coordinator.
I never could have predicted how this would change me.
After six years as an insider to many gut-wrenching, life-altering cases involving sexual violence among college students, my heart is broken. It’s one thing to hear the national statistics: that one in five women and one in 16 men are sexually assaulted in college; or that more than 90 percent of college students who experience sexual violence never report it. It’s another thing, however, to “see” the statistics—to know their names, understand their potential, meet their families, and observe their unrelenting trauma. The suffering inflicted upon victims of sexual violence is immeasurable, and the sheer reality that a full quarter of our student population experiences it should cause vicarious suffering for all of us.
While many would argue that Title IX has bolstered awareness and reporting of sexual violence, few insiders think it has affected the prevalence of this behavior on campus. Too many of our students are arriving on campus with well-developed but warped scripts playing in their heads about gender roles, sexuality and college life. And nothing has the potential to unleash these dangerous role-plays like the effects of alcohol. Unfortunately, these narratives have been given to our current generation of students by all of us who have gone before them. We’ve collectively created a culture reinforced in pornography, gendered and sexualized humor and media, locker-room talk, stereotypes, victim blaming, and worst of all, complacent acceptance of the status quo.
You might be like me—you had no idea. Sexual violence was mostly a cognitive reality framed by statistics. If you’re one of the fortunate ones who has been personally unscathed by sexual violence, don’t assume that means you are off the hook. Decide not to ignore the reality of suffering and heartbreak around you. Help hope happen. Do we want to alter the pattern of 25 percent of our students experiencing sexual violence in college? The real change—the lasting change—is the sort of hard work that we can’t avoid. It’s a kind of suffering you can’t avoid. Turning heartbreak into hope involves you.
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. Start by educating yourself. As you begin to express interest in, and care about the issue, you may be surprised by those who feel safe disclosing how sexual violence has impacted their lives. And, you may begin to see how our larger culture plays out on our campuses. One starting book I recommend is Jon Krakauer’s “Missoula: Rape and Justice in a College Town” (Anchor Books, 2016).
Second, stop giggling. Sexual jokes, gendered-ribbing, and the objectification of women are the seeds of sexual violence—and these tainted seeds can grow into decades of specific and vicarious suffering. While you might be disciplined about not behaving in such a manner, it’s just as important that you don’t let your friend’s comment go un-confronted.
Third, quit victim blaming. No one ever deserves be sexually assaulted—no matter what they’re wearing, how much alcohol they’ve consumed, or how they’ve behaved. And let’s be clear—while there are unfortunate instances of false reporting, all evidence is that the occurrence is rare—very rare.
At Virginia Tech, we are making important short-term gains. We have strengthened policies, increased resources for victims, instituted ambitious educational programs, and bolstered reporting, among many worthy efforts. The most significant change—cultural change—is the most important, profound and difficult pursuit. It begins with the suffering of us—all of us. Be unafraid to embrace both heartbreak and hope. And it is made possible only when we help hear each other’s honest stories, until our loudest common narrative becomes a tale where sexual violence has neither voice nor victim, nor any role at all.
Frank Shushok Jr. is senior associate vice president for student affairs at Virginia Tech, where he is concluding a six-year appointment as deputy Title IX coordinator. In 2014, Virginia Gov. Terry McAuliffe appointed him to a task force on combating campus sexual violence.
